Into This World

Puff!!! I am alive.  Even though I am only like a tiny grain of sand, I have life.  How wonderful this is.  I am alive!!!  Here in my mom’s womb, I feel so comfortable, peaceful and happy.  I am learning to move and to keep up with the exterior noises that come to me.  Sometimes my mom cries.  I do not like to hear my mom crying.  Sometimes people yell at her and then she cries and cries until she goes to sleep.  I try not to pay too much attention and just enjoy my “journey” in this cozy place.

Time is fleeting I am growing up and moving a lot.  I know I am making my mom uncomfortable.  It is hard for her to get up and to walk.  She is tired, her back hurts and her legs are swollen.

Suddenly my mom is in pain.  There is a commotion at my mom’s bedroom.  I hear people anxiously talking, my mom is crying, somehow screaming, Doctor Norena has arrived, I move a lot, and suddenly, I clearly hear:   It is a girl.

It is so wonderful to be in the arms of my mother.  I just arrived in to this world a few minutes ago.  I feel so happy, so close to her breasts.  I hope I can stay here forever.  I look at her.  She is beautiful with big green eyes.  I like the way she is tightly holding and looking at me.  When she looks at me…  Is she smiling?  Is she sad?  What are you thinking, Mom?  Are you worried about me?  “Please don’t.worry, I am going to be a very good little girl”.

How pretty my mom is. The light blue gown she is wearing is soft and tickles my face… She smells so good…  Her radiant brown hair touches my face.  She kisses me and feels so good.   Her warm milk, is delicious… Too much happiness…I go to sleep…

I get to meet my grandmother.  She is a middle-age woman, nicely dressed .   Her dark hair is pulled back in a chignon.  Esta triste?  (Is she sad?_) Does she have a somber face?  She has been here with my mom since early this morning.  She takes me in to her arms, kisses me and talks to me in a very low voice.  I don’t understand what she says and why she does not appear to be happy.

The rest of the family comes inside the bedroom.  My grandma’s other children.  They are so exited and happy to see me.  Leaning towards her, Florentino, my mom’s  handsome brother, says to her; –  Maria Luisa, tienes una hermosa nina.   – (Maria Luisa, You have a beautiful little girl).  Angelina, his pretty brunette young wife, wants to hold me, too.  Angelita, the youngest daughter, a cute teenager in her school uniform, looks at me with curiosity.  They are so happy to see my Mom and me.  They all want to hold me.  By now I am tired — too much commotion.

How many days have passed?  Where am I?

Am I in the arms of another woman?  Who are you?  I want to ask her.  Where is my Mom?  I want to know.  There is no response to my questions.  I am in the arms of a young girl, with big brown eyes, a shy smile and braided long dark hair.  “I do not know you, who are you?  Where is my mom?

Shus. Little girl, says my grandma.  This is Adelina, the daughter of Mercedes our laundress.  She has a new-born baby boy and she is going to be your “nodriza”, (wet nurse).

Adelina covers me with her black and white rebozo and feeds me.  I am hungry, but I do not want to be in her arms.   Her milk does not taste like my mom’s sweet milk, she does not smell like my mother.  I want my Mom.

by Virginia G. Rafelson

Select all Writings of Virginia G. Rafelson

Select Biography of  Virginia G. Rafelson

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